I’m drifting


Dear Diary,

I’m sitting in the car. My hips and legs killing me. I have a lot of pain. I suppose I had a busy few days at work. All my body aching. Now as I’m aware of the fact that it’s ok to have pain things are easier.I understand that life has to go on no matter what. Nothing and nobody should stop us from been happy.

Work make me happy and I really enjoy that anyway so I try to push myself through pain and do what make me happy. Is that what all the smart people say… “Do more what’s make you happy”
Work keep me busy and thanks to my hard work I can achive a lot of things like food, holiday or even education… Education and study are my passion.
It’s hard at times to do all those things as my body hurts, head gets blurry but it’s ok. I know that I’m alive.

So… I’m in the car. May and Jay are with me. We traveling to the airport. Long journey ahead. Four hours in the car. Well, be good. Great music and my own thoughts.

May is not talking. We actally not talking since he start new job. That’s 11 days. We barking on eachother. I got upset and insulted by him last week… even worst I was told that I’m pain in the ass and moody… So I told him to swap body’s for one day that he can feel what I feel everyday in reply I got “what’s wrong with you! You don’t have diagnosis so get on with it”
It hurt !
He has his diagnosis of depression and that didn’t change his life. So what he said and done was nasty.

At least I try to solve my problem and his on top of mine but he won’t do a thing to help himself. I’m not asking to help me. I don’t need help and if I do I go to relevant people and ask for help.
I lost all my patient for him. He is not small boy and no more nursing. I found him new job as he wasn’t happy in old one and now… He is not happy in new job either. He said that it’s hard and his arm is sore.He is tired, grumpy and irritated. Everyting I ask to do is like I ask for something imposible and effortless. Well… What I can say?!

I’m going on holiday and I will have time to make strategy plan for next while. I’m not expecting huge changes but I need to do something.

Plan for now is to get lot of Vitamin D from sunshine and relax. I will miss my fury friends. My doggies went to kennel. They are in great hands any way so not to worry.

Thinking about May…
I don’t think he see me any more. He is again in his own world. So sad!

Well what can I do! I need to be patient that’s all. Good things come my way!

Love Kay ❤️ Xx

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