Dancing in the moment

17/06/2018

Dear Diary,

How was my week?

It’s a beautiful evening, I’m on the way from Dublin. I had my course. I learned a lot of new things and I will try to use my new skills in my everyday life. I related and apply theory to a lot of facts from last week.

I was thinking for a while …. So how was my week? It took me long time but finally got to conclusion that it was one of the best weeks in my life.

Sound mad but this is true. This is what I felt and this is what others observed about me. I will tell you more about that later. This week I had to come out of my comfort zone and challenge new situations. Stepping outside comfort zone can be meaningful and very challenging to do. This is the reality.

I feel that I am constantly faced with situations outside of my comfort zones where I need to adapt and adjust but at times I pay more or less attention to it.

Ginni Rometty has said: “Growth and comfort don’t co-exist. I learned to always take on things I’d never done before.”

It’s surly much easier to remain in old well known places where we feel comfortable but not necessary feeling happy and actually it is hard to face the fear of new adventure but for me it’s different. I really wanted to do new things, I always do!

I like to grow, learn and succeed so all my life I’m picking up new challenges and so this time too. I felt that situation was just perfect for it.

I love adventures and small every day challenges so earlier this year I made decision on doing some basic course on Care Skills to broader the area and getting some experience.

I feel like I had always cared for someone in my life… I thought… Well, why do I not bring that to a higher level. Did I want it… Yes, part of me was dancing in the moment and part of me was frozen. Finally I came out of my comfort zone but the truth is that all this was very different to what I planned and also challenge was much bigger than I thought!

I got job and I was going to do what I want to do in years. My job was accurate not even caring about someone but empower them to live normal as they could, happy, joyful and interesting life. Wow, this is more than I expected. I knew that won’t be easy but I’m well used to things don’t come easy my way. Surly, Kay is always oki! This time I have left my comfort zone for longer then I planned but it is worth every minute of that very special moment and week I had. I’m always busy and up to something. This time I was also running and racing between new job and old job, studying and household but I was so much more aware of my thoughts and actions. I paid attention to the smallest things, thoughts and gestures but at times we can’t control everything, some things just happened spontaneously.

It’s early days yet but I love what I’m doing. This job gives me liveliness which I missed so much and I have great satisfaction that I could help others. All the time I was gathering information from all around, I wanted to know as much as possible. Someone said to me “Take your time, you don’t need to know everything, you will learn as you go”. Great advice but not for the person like me. So it was time to confront some of my life events and their incorrect understanding and finally walk through the fear that I had all my life and suddenly I realized that my hopes for results were my opportunity.

I allow myself to be vulnerable and this way I discovered sweetness, openers and joy. I never forget that feeling. It’s the best feeling I ever had in my life. I own it! Time will show what is next waiting for me but I have a great sense that it is going to be something beautiful. I can’t wait!

Most of my life I have hoped for solution but I found beginning! I wonder how long I will be able dance in the moment? Could be few seconds but even that will be best thing ever and with time I will learn how to dance for ever!

I’m amazed how incredible nonverbal communication can be. Smile say all!

Love Kay ❤️ Xx